Psihologics

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Here are 15 found along the path of life. It’s that time for a yearend review. So, I recently settled in with my cocoa, er coffee, er wine, to reflect on my year that was. “Balanced action” was my theme for 2023. Here are 15 of the gems I discovered and pebbles I followed along the way: 1. Ask for balance. My sister and I took a life-altering trip to Europe this summer. One reason it was so glorious is that we honored one another’s core desires. We discussed before the trip how we often vacation differently, focusing on different things. She is an extrovert, deriving her energy from external things—adventures, and being with and around people. As an ambivert (extroverted introvert), I get my energy from bouts of solitude and quieter moments. So, we honored both and enjoyed both. And we crossed things off our bucket lists—me, the Sound… Read more →

I sat on my patio watching the clouds roll across an amber sunrise as the birds sang their morning revelry. A peaceful moment as the thought came to mind, “I belong here.” I belong. It was my birthday and I was reflecting, as I do every year, filing through recent thoughts on what I’ve learned over the last year. A question popped up. What’s profound at this juncture in life? Shedding skin? Endings? New chapters? Initiations? Quiet moments? Surprising disruptions? Sure, all those things. But, there was something more. I pondered this as I gazed back at the horizon behind my house. The sky was active, the clouds in steady movement. I thought about how life rolls like clouds, moving in constant flow, sometimes stormy and tumultuous, sometimes clear and transparent, light, and fluffy. The air was still, spacious. My eye caught the resident bunny in his routine, back and… Read more →

Life’s teachers are literally everywhere. If you’re looking. “Thank you, Teacher.” I had a beautiful conversation with a dear friend this week. We were working through something together, something that had found the space in our open hearts to discuss and resolve. Not the easiest thing for two people who avoid conflict. We’d made the commitment to one another years ago to be a safe place for telling the truth, for pushing each other to dig deeper, and after this conversation, we’re closer than ever. We also talked about how challenging relationships and situations often are our greatest teachers. She reflected on her children, how they have taught her to be a better parent, and often it wasn’t the sunshine and roses moments that elevated her skills. It was the resistance, the conflict, the smart pushback and exchanges from and with her engaged, independent kids. Because she does the inner… Read more →

I was staring at the blank page of my journal, wondering where to start. Thoughts swirling, the to-do list fighting for attention, and annoying headlines that I read while still in bed dampened my plan for an early morning calm (for which I was still beating myself up). So, I slowed my breathing, took a sip of coffee, and turned to a favorite journaling technique I like to call, “Open Sesame.” I reached for the top book from a stack on my coffee table, Robin Sharma’s “The 5 AM Club,” asked my guides for inspiration and, allowed the book to fall open where it may. Open sesame. It couldn’t have been more divine. The first thing my eyes landed on was this Ayn Rand quote: “Do not allow your fire to go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not at… Read more →

I’ve been noticing something lately. It comes on softly, and often, so much so it usually slips by unnoticed. Fleeting. Little rushes. A vibration running in the background. Backup singers in my daily soundtrack. It’s the small rushes of gratitude and love. So rich. Richer than a gold rush. The thing I noticed is that they literally happen all the time. It’s tiny moments that trigger them. My cats, endless rushes of love that sprinkle my day, with his curious fascination as I do yoga, her kiss to my forehead, his headbutt nudge against my shoulder. Rushes. Text, calls, and time spent with family and friends. Rushes. Things I’ve taken for granted around my house, things I love that make me smile, like Grandpa’s ashtray that’s now a candy dish. Rushes. Most often you don’t notice or take the time to notice the tiny feeling that lasts a fraction of… Read more →

The dampness seeps through my cotton joggers. I don’t realize it’s raining until I sit on the patio chair, its cushion cool and moist. It’s not rain, but a soft mist so fine it looks like fluctuating pixels on a grainy live photograph. Constantly moving, shifting, changing. There must be fifty shades of green in the thicket of woods behind my house. Those early Spring greens. Fresh, young, budding baby leaves, lapping the nourishment of the dew. Wondering if it’s the appetizer or the dessert. Finding strength in the anticipation. The wild daisies and lacy purple tansies carpet the yard’s floor nearby. They appear to stand on their tiptoes with their faces prone as they capture the tiny moist droplets in their mouths. They seem at ease like there’s enough to go around. Seems a fitting personality trait for wildflowers. The mist hits my face. I breathe it in. Best… Read more →

Often, when I open my journal I have no idea what I will write. Often, it’s a question entering my mind that will get things started. Often it’s surprising, seemingly out of left field. But, I know it’s coming from an inner inquiry, something that begs my attention. Like this question that floated in recently: Where am I complacent? Not something I ponder often. And, after some digging into the notion of complacency, it became clear to me as to why. And, when I started to record some areas in my life where I am indeed complacent, it was a huge wake-up call. One worth heeding. What do you think of when you hear the word complacent? Complacency is a state of being satisfied with the status quo. More the point, stuck in the status quo. It can lead to a lack of motivation, boredom, decreased productivity, and a lack… Read more →

It’s been a whirl of a year so far. Already, and it’s only mid-January. And I asked for it! Here’s how. Prior to the end of last year, as I do every year, I took a few days to reflect and renew. Reflect on the year that was and what I wished to leave behind. Then, renew by focusing on the year to come and where I want to expand and grow. It was with curiosity and not judgment that I ventured into this inquiry. This was in important part of the process. A conscious choice. Judgment mires you down to where you were stuck. It keeps you focusing on the negative, judgy self-talk. Curiosity sheds light on things. It creates wonderment and a growth mindset. So, with curiosity, I pondered it further with an exercise of ‘more-of-this, less-of-that.’ Such as: Less stagnation, more action Less hesitation, more just the… Read more →

The sun was a glowing orb framed by dark-rimmed clouds. Ever present the sun. The light. I was reminded again about how the light of the sun is always there. It doesn’t have to try, it’s ready to show up, to shine through as the beacon for all that is and will be. It’s comforting. Light was my word for 2022. As I was filling the dishwasher about a year ago, the phrase flowed into my mind: 2022, the year of light. My intention for the year was to seek the lightness of being, to follow the light of my spirit in all areas of life. Today, there is much to ponder and reflect on. To share. So, what has come to light? In random order, here are a few things that have bubbled up and stayed with me. Perhaps it will spark in you things that have come to… Read more →

Sometimes a happy accident appears in your day that sets thoughts and motions in different directions. If you’re paying attention. I was scrolling through my email when the subject line, “Your must question,” caught my attention. “Your must question.” At least, that’s what I thought it said. Looking closer, it was actually, “You must question.” Ah, that made sense. It was a directive by Ryan Holiday in a discussion about how, based on Stoic philosophy, it’s important to continually question ourselves and the world. It’s the way we grow, learn, pivot, and change. Couldn’t agree more. But, I kept thinking about the other, what I thought it was. Your must question. That little happy accident lit me up! It got me thinking about passion and purpose and soul work, and dedication, devotion, and commitment. Must. What must I do? It feels driven. A definition for the word that resonates in… Read more →

This word essential is getting tossed around a lot. Businesses and people/workers are being categorized as essential or non-essential. There seems, in some cases, to be an ongoing debate as to what and who is to be considered essential. People being sent home after being told they’re non-essential and essential workers braving against an invisible foe to show up where they’re needed.

Which is why it’s the word-of-the-week in my Quick Sunday Read. So, I decided to take a deeper dive into it’s larger meaning. 

While there are several common and obvious things we all consider to be vital – healthcare facilities, food, the internet, hand sanitizer and masks, to name a few – what’s essential to one person may be entirely non-essential to another. Golf? Books? Art? Parks? So, who’s to decide?

On a much deeper level than toilet paper, hand sanitizer or coffee (one of my surface necessities!), this got me thinking about how this collective pause – while we have a lot of time on our hands – is providing a golden opportunity to examine what is truly essential for a life of high value. In essence, what is the heart of our existence?

So, what is essential?

Essential. What a loaded word. It’s an adjective meaning an act, idea or process that’s “absolutely necessary.” Or “extremely important.” And, it’s a noun meaning “a basic, indispensable thing that is a necessity.” Vital. Crucial. Key. Needed. Requisite. Fundamental element. A must. Coffee. Kidding. 

“What world is there for us where our essential nature – and its right to live free – is one and the same?” – Guy Finley, author

I’ve been thinking a lot about this question: 

What do I consider to be essential, vital, the heart of my existence, the fuel of my momentum, in my life from now on?

It’s a big question. And, one that requires some of the stillness that’s been bestowed on us by forces outside of our control. It’s a good question to pose to the household if you’re quarantined with another or with your family. So, so good, not only for your own self-reflection but also for a deep meaningful discussion with loved ones.

“Imagination is as vital to any advance in science as learning and precision are essential for starting points.” – Percival Lowell, scientist

Some essentials seem obvious in this time but are still worth their weight, like drinking water, having a home in which to feel safe, good food and exercise to nourish our bodies. Sleep.

But, what are equally important as those, are as French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupéry put it, “The essential is invisible to the eyes.” Like intention, love, and prayer. And, our list of essentials is fluid, often changing and evolving based on what is most needed for our wellbeing. So many are dealing with illness right now and that is what is in front of them so that is what drives some of the essentials, for sure. And, is why what we consider essential shifts and evolves. 

I’ve been playing with this all week. Here are some that bubbled to the surface for me as you perhaps consider some of your own:

Routine. After nearly a month of working from home and physically and social distancing, I’ve simplified my necessities and find that resting into routines gives me ease and comfort. Routines normalize things. 

Sleep, 8 hours a night, and rest; meditation and journaling; a good plant-based diet; yoga; coffee and chocolate; lots of water (I need to constantly remind myself); a good skincare regime; making my bed every morning; comfy clothes and great socks. You may ask how chocolate figures in as routine; it just does. A little of the good stuff every day makes me happy. 

Connection. When I chose the word Connect as my 2020 word of the year, who knew what an even more profound principle it would become? It’s become a saving grace for everyone, and an essential for so many, even as we must resort to virtual connections for now.

Regularly connecting with family members and friends, singularly and as a group, is what is breaking the isolation and truly sustaining so many of us. It is for me. I’ve set the intention to connect and reconnect with more people I hold dear or want to get to know better.

And, connection to self is front and center in a way that’s unexpected and new and for some, unfamiliar.

“Know the true definition of yourself, that is essential. Then, when you know your definition, flee from it.” – Rumi

Self-Reflection. I’m finding that my morning meditation and prayers are more deeply connected to my God and to my higher wisdom. And, to my intuition. It is opening up new ways of thinking and expanding channels of perception in my life and community. And, I put pen to paper to stream that new level of consciousness. All kinds of things bubble up.

Self-reflection is key for growth and for integrating the lessons that are presenting themselves right now. I feel like we’re on the precipice of an opening, a better way of being, a rebirth for the planet as well as for all of us. We can pave new pathways. My self-reflection is essential for moving forward in a grounded, purposeful way. 

My Pet. My little goofy cat Maggie is providing so much love and a needed distraction. We are for each other, actually. For a while she was walking around with a thought bubble over her head, “Is that woman still here?” But, now we’re in a groove. I’ll probably bring another little feline into the house to join the family soon. I just saw a story yesterday that a shelter somewhere is out of animals for the first time ever because so many people are adopting pets right now. How wonderful is that?

Words. I have a love affair with words and now even more so. While I’m speaking fewer words because I’m spending so much time alone, I’m cognizant of the words I’m thinking, speaking and writing. What’s essential about words right now is in using them intentionally and effectively. 

I sat down virtually with empowerment coach and teacher, Andrea Quinn, the creator of The Quinn Essentials, a set of applicable tools with which to live your most empowered life. One of the tools is to “Empower Your Word.” Andrea says, “All of us are living the life we’re talking about. Everything is vibration. Thoughts are vibration. Words are vibration. You create with your words whether you’re aware of it or not. The words you say to yourself and to the world manifest the life you have. And, if each of us were more aware and responsible with what we’re saying we would understand the power our words have in creating for ourselves and the world around us.”

Creativity. It’s my phoenix. I have a short attention span right now, often feeling a tad restless with the unknowing and the extended alone time. But, scheduled creativity, writing, brainstorming, it keeps me fresh. Rising. Expanding. Being. Creating. It’s my essential essential.

Knowledge. As in reading, learning, discovering. From ancient sources like the stoic philosophers and from the current knowledgable experts and thought leaders. I follow Ryan Holiday, the best selling author of several books, currently “Stillness is the Key.” He publishes a reading list of suggested books that will expand your deeper knowledge. I’m very slowly making my way through it. Now’s a good time. Support your local bookstores if you can. #SaveIndieBookstores

Intentions. The biggest thing this essential provides is presence of mind. Setting intentions keeps us on course. Keeps meaning front and center. Maintaining a sense of productivity and efficiency. And, sharing our intentions with a trusted group, like an accountability group, helps keep us focused. I’m so grateful for my weekly accountability group. 

Kindness. This essential is on all of my lists. I try to instill it in everything I do, even while dealing with those who are frayed, frustrated and really angry right now. I’m frustrated and angry about much of it too. But, you can be kind at the same time. And, kindness is service, checking in with and offering to help those who need it. I’m so encouraged by so many stories of human kindness now. 

Love. An extension of kindness. And, it’s everywhere. We are resolute, kind and loving beings at our core. It’s an innate essential and likely on everyone’s list. 

Adaptability. It’s been so inspiring to see how people and so many companies are adapting to our current circumstances. we are indeed adaptable creatures. 

Play. Humor and laughter are so healing and are true equalizers. I’m on several text streams where we send hilarious memes that bring levity and laughter to all of us. Schedule Zoom parties. Play family games. Watch comedies. Take time for play. It’s essential for wellbeing.

Nature. I took a socially distanced walk with a friend and we both remarked at the color of the sky. A bluer blue than we’ve seen in Los Angeles, ever. What’s beautiful about nature, when we take time to be in it, is that it’s so nourishing. It’s oxygen. It’s life’s continuing all around us. It’s birth and rebirth. It’s hope. 

So, those are some of the essentials for my wellbeing.

What do you find essential in your life? It’s a good question and now’s a good time to sit with the question and ponder the answers. Toss some in the comments if you feel like it. 

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

This is a whirlwind time of year when it feels like we can’t cram one more thing into our holiday infused schedules.   

There was a story on CBS Sunday Morning this week about the world of nutcrackers, which will be forever associated with Christmas due to the ageless Tchaikovsky classic, The Nutcracker Suite.  Nutcrackers used to be placed on the dinner table for the final course of the meal, the nuts.  This is where the phrase “from soup to nuts” came from.   

It got me thinking about my own soup-to-nuts this year.  And, wow what a feast of activity it’s been!    When things get to be so busy every year at this time, it’s easy to get lost in the minutiae of the to-do list instead of taking stock and appreciating everything you’ve accomplished in the last 12 months.  A dear friend reminded me of this last week as a gentle way of getting me off the fast moving train of plan-plan-plan, do-do-do.   

So, in honor of the Winter Solstice, which is today, take some time to take stock in your year, recognizing the soup, the nuts, and all the delicious bits in between. 

• How were you recognized for your efforts?
• What kinds of results did you achieve?
• List your happy moments, first what comes to mind immediately and then go back month by month and honor the small joys as well.  After doing this one exercise it’s likely you’ll feel like the Grinch whose “heart grew three sizes that day!”
• What new relationships did your forge?  What old relationships did you nurture?
• Did you pursue a new path?  What did you learn?

As I list my soup to nuts for 2009, I find myself deeply grateful most of all for my relationships, old and dear ones as well as new and expanding ones.  My life is richer today than a year ago as a result.  

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

  ~ Dr. Seuss

May you and yours have a blessed holiday. 

Previous month:
December 2017

Next month:
February 2018

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash “Where are the cars parked?” I asked the valet attendant. “Behind the restaurant, inside a garage,” he said. “So it’s secure? I have my computer in here,” I said. “Yes,” he said and nodded. For whatever reason, I felt safe enough to take his word for it. To trust. Two hours later, you guessed it, when the same driver brought my car back around, the passenger window had been shattered and the one thing taken out of my car was the leather bag containing my MacBook Pro, which had been placed in the dark bag on the black floor, in a locked car inside their secured garage. To say I was suspicious was an understatement. And, believe me, I didn’t like feeling that way. I believe in people. I trust in people. I’d like to say I was clear-minded, pummeling questions at the driver… Read more →

Then, Meet Them Here… Photo by Aleksandra Mazur on Unsplash I love the little moments, the game-changers that shift things, changing everything from that moment on. This was one of them. I was doing a Creative Jam Session with a client recently, a woman who is brilliant at what she does. I mean crazy brilliant. We were brainstorming on creative ideas to get her business going in a new way. “She intimidates me,” she said, talking about a high-profile woman for whom she’d done some coaching. I understood. The woman had some really impressive creds, was a genius at what she did and was running a large event where she was required to speak, which is where my client was coaching her. She floated quickly through the comment, “She intimidates me.” It got me thinking about the idea of intimidation and more apropos to our discussion, the meaning and weight… Read more →

Photo by Emma Frances Logan on Unsplash I took a Sunday drive this week.Through my mind. I was bouncing around from thing to thing, flitting between writing and movies and articles and chapters and musings and organizing. It created a feeling of unsettle. “I’m meandering,” I said to Gracie, who is ever present by my side. She looked at me mid-purr. “So what else is new,” her look said. (at first I wrote ‘what else is knew?” which made me laugh because there’s true there too). I do meander. Aimlessly at times, so that I can almost get dizzy from the spinning. Breathe. Meander is fun to say, it’s kind of a whimsical word. It basically means to “follow a winding course,” and is often used when referred to streams or bodies of water, “the stream meandered across the valley.” People meander through a conversation, which can be interesting and… Read more →

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash “I had an Epiphany!” We’ve all felt that inspiring moment of realization at one time or another, the powerful insight that was going to change everything. It’s a great feeling, right? Today is the Day of Epiphany. I know that because as I glanced at the calendar to schedule my week of writing I saw “Epiphany” written on today, the day I was planning to publish a post. So, I had a little epiphany that I’d write about epiphany! I didn’t wake up receiving 12 drummers drumming from my true love, but I woke up thinking about how much I love those sparks of inspiration, those rushes of insight that bring clarity. The Day of Epiphany in Christian tradition signifies the 12th day of Christmas and ancient traditions culminated the season with a lavish Feast of Epiphany. It’s come to be known as “12th… Read more →

It Starts With the Word of the Year. And, the word is Perspective. Photo by Paul Skorupskas on Unsplash I’ve been thinking a lot about Perspective. This is one of my favorite times of year, when things start fresh, slates are clean, the canvas is fresh, new journals are cracked opened, solid lists of resolutions and goals are constructed and the reset buttons are pushed. But, I don’t think it’s really possible to completely start with a completely clean slate or canvas because old stories and patterns are still there underneath the surface, ready to become visible. Often it’s when we’re just ready to breakthrough or soar that they rear their little heads. This is where the idea of Perspective comes in. It’s such a great word and I think is vital to make the most out of the transition from year to year, from an end to a beginning…. Read more →

Previous month:
June 2015

Next month:
August 2015

I often a word card to focus my daily journaling, and many times that then leads to a blog post. The word recently was Efficiency. So apropos, particularly lately as I find myself sometimes scattered in my writing commitments. Efficiency: to be efficient, to work tidily, concise, linear. Okay, there was probably a divine hand intervening as I chose a card this day! As a creative, living in her right brain world, I often ponder the notion of efficiency. It can be a challenge in there, inside my right brain dwelling. Some rooms, if you will, are more colorful, whimsical and intricately imagined than the one before it. And, then many of the rooms are partially furnished, need paint on the walls and proper lighting. Some are dimly lit, or even completely dark. Sometimes the right brain is like Hearst’s Castle – winding staircases that lead to staircases on the… Read more →

I’ve been spending a couple of days at the ocean, in a place that takes a few u-turns to find. There’s not much here, but oh how I love it. After being in a space of disconnect of late, I could not have picked a more apropos location to reconnect. There’s something about the sound frequency of ocean waves that reignite my engine. In fact, research shows that the frequency of ocean waves connects with your brain waves to create a restorative sense of calm. And, we hear ocean waves via ultrasound waves, but we actually feel the vibrations in our bodies via infrasound frequencies generated by the ocean, vibrations that connect to the body’s chakras or energy points. My solar plexus hums, creating the base for my body’s symphony. There’s something very foundational about it. Ah, a plethora of melodies, chords and dissonance that when fully tuned and in… Read more →

Previous month:
September 2012

Next month:
February 2013

The snow was new, with over a foot falling in the past 24 hours. It was fun to be out in it and, as I like to say, I was getting my “fix” of winter wonderland before heading back to LA. To make it all the more wonderland I was coming back from having a heart-to-heart lunch with my 19-year-old “old soul” of a nephew, Kirk. We were pushing the clock, trying to stretch time before I had to leave for the airport. And, as is so often a way of life in December in Michigan, the road held surprise patches of ice. One such patch presented itself with much fanfare as we approached a back-up of cars stopped on a two-lane road outside of town. Brake lights appeared and in an instant we were swerving onto the shoulder and into the yard, thankfully without a ditch, with all four… Read more →

By Cindy Yantis “We’re heading into heavy snow.” I heard someone in the airport utter this as he got ready to board my flight. Flights were cancelled, roads were closed, plans were diverted, all due to heavy snow. I find the phrase “heavy snow” intriguing. It’s hard to think of anything lighter than snow. Or to break it down further, there’s not many things lighter or more delicate than a snowflake. Each tiny piece of frosted crystal sweet and unique, completely different that the millions of other perfect ice sculptures cascading down along with it. They create a silent symphony of white and calm, of peace and newness. That is until there are too many of them all at once, storming on top one another so that they’re packed into a heaviness that can become treacherous, even deadly. One could imagine the breezy conversation taking place among them. “What happened?… Read more →

This word essential is getting tossed around a lot. Businesses and people/workers are being categorized as essential or non-essential. There seems, in some cases, to be an ongoing debate as to what and who is to be considered essential. People being sent home after being told they’re non-essential and essential workers braving against an invisible foe to show up where they’re needed.

Which is why it’s the word-of-the-week in my Quick Sunday Read. So, I decided to take a deeper dive into it’s larger meaning. 

While there are several common and obvious things we all consider to be vital – healthcare facilities, food, the internet, hand sanitizer and masks, to name a few – what’s essential to one person may be entirely non-essential to another. Golf? Books? Art? Parks? So, who’s to decide?

On a much deeper level than toilet paper, hand sanitizer or coffee (one of my surface necessities!), this got me thinking about how this collective pause – while we have a lot of time on our hands – is providing a golden opportunity to examine what is truly essential for a life of high value. In essence, what is the heart of our existence?

So, what is essential?

Essential. What a loaded word. It’s an adjective meaning an act, idea or process that’s “absolutely necessary.” Or “extremely important.” And, it’s a noun meaning “a basic, indispensable thing that is a necessity.” Vital. Crucial. Key. Needed. Requisite. Fundamental element. A must. Coffee. Kidding. 

“What world is there for us where our essential nature – and its right to live free – is one and the same?” – Guy Finley, author

I’ve been thinking a lot about this question: 

What do I consider to be essential, vital, the heart of my existence, the fuel of my momentum, in my life from now on?

It’s a big question. And, one that requires some of the stillness that’s been bestowed on us by forces outside of our control. It’s a good question to pose to the household if you’re quarantined with another or with your family. So, so good, not only for your own self-reflection but also for a deep meaningful discussion with loved ones.

“Imagination is as vital to any advance in science as learning and precision are essential for starting points.” – Percival Lowell, scientist

Some essentials seem obvious in this time but are still worth their weight, like drinking water, having a home in which to feel safe, good food and exercise to nourish our bodies. Sleep.

But, what are equally important as those, are as French writer Antoine de Saint-Exupéry put it, “The essential is invisible to the eyes.” Like intention, love, and prayer. And, our list of essentials is fluid, often changing and evolving based on what is most needed for our wellbeing. So many are dealing with illness right now and that is what is in front of them so that is what drives some of the essentials, for sure. And, is why what we consider essential shifts and evolves. 

I’ve been playing with this all week. Here are some that bubbled to the surface for me as you perhaps consider some of your own:

Routine. After nearly a month of working from home and physically and social distancing, I’ve simplified my necessities and find that resting into routines gives me ease and comfort. Routines normalize things. 

Sleep, 8 hours a night, and rest; meditation and journaling; a good plant-based diet; yoga; coffee and chocolate; lots of water (I need to constantly remind myself); a good skincare regime; making my bed every morning; comfy clothes and great socks. You may ask how chocolate figures in as routine; it just does. A little of the good stuff every day makes me happy. 

Connection. When I chose the word Connect as my 2020 word of the year, who knew what an even more profound principle it would become? It’s become a saving grace for everyone, and an essential for so many, even as we must resort to virtual connections for now.

Regularly connecting with family members and friends, singularly and as a group, is what is breaking the isolation and truly sustaining so many of us. It is for me. I’ve set the intention to connect and reconnect with more people I hold dear or want to get to know better.

And, connection to self is front and center in a way that’s unexpected and new and for some, unfamiliar.

“Know the true definition of yourself, that is essential. Then, when you know your definition, flee from it.” – Rumi

Self-Reflection. I’m finding that my morning meditation and prayers are more deeply connected to my God and to my higher wisdom. And, to my intuition. It is opening up new ways of thinking and expanding channels of perception in my life and community. And, I put pen to paper to stream that new level of consciousness. All kinds of things bubble up.

Self-reflection is key for growth and for integrating the lessons that are presenting themselves right now. I feel like we’re on the precipice of an opening, a better way of being, a rebirth for the planet as well as for all of us. We can pave new pathways. My self-reflection is essential for moving forward in a grounded, purposeful way. 

My Pet. My little goofy cat Maggie is providing so much love and a needed distraction. We are for each other, actually. For a while she was walking around with a thought bubble over her head, “Is that woman still here?” But, now we’re in a groove. I’ll probably bring another little feline into the house to join the family soon. I just saw a story yesterday that a shelter somewhere is out of animals for the first time ever because so many people are adopting pets right now. How wonderful is that?

Words. I have a love affair with words and now even more so. While I’m speaking fewer words because I’m spending so much time alone, I’m cognizant of the words I’m thinking, speaking and writing. What’s essential about words right now is in using them intentionally and effectively. 

I sat down virtually with empowerment coach and teacher, Andrea Quinn, the creator of The Quinn Essentials, a set of applicable tools with which to live your most empowered life. One of the tools is to “Empower Your Word.” Andrea says, “All of us are living the life we’re talking about. Everything is vibration. Thoughts are vibration. Words are vibration. You create with your words whether you’re aware of it or not. The words you say to yourself and to the world manifest the life you have. And, if each of us were more aware and responsible with what we’re saying we would understand the power our words have in creating for ourselves and the world around us.”

Creativity. It’s my phoenix. I have a short attention span right now, often feeling a tad restless with the unknowing and the extended alone time. But, scheduled creativity, writing, brainstorming, it keeps me fresh. Rising. Expanding. Being. Creating. It’s my essential essential.

Knowledge. As in reading, learning, discovering. From ancient sources like the stoic philosophers and from the current knowledgable experts and thought leaders. I follow Ryan Holiday, the best selling author of several books, currently “Stillness is the Key.” He publishes a reading list of suggested books that will expand your deeper knowledge. I’m very slowly making my way through it. Now’s a good time. Support your local bookstores if you can. #SaveIndieBookstores

Intentions. The biggest thing this essential provides is presence of mind. Setting intentions keeps us on course. Keeps meaning front and center. Maintaining a sense of productivity and efficiency. And, sharing our intentions with a trusted group, like an accountability group, helps keep us focused. I’m so grateful for my weekly accountability group. 

Kindness. This essential is on all of my lists. I try to instill it in everything I do, even while dealing with those who are frayed, frustrated and really angry right now. I’m frustrated and angry about much of it too. But, you can be kind at the same time. And, kindness is service, checking in with and offering to help those who need it. I’m so encouraged by so many stories of human kindness now. 

Love. An extension of kindness. And, it’s everywhere. We are resolute, kind and loving beings at our core. It’s an innate essential and likely on everyone’s list. 

Adaptability. It’s been so inspiring to see how people and so many companies are adapting to our current circumstances. we are indeed adaptable creatures. 

Play. Humor and laughter are so healing and are true equalizers. I’m on several text streams where we send hilarious memes that bring levity and laughter to all of us. Schedule Zoom parties. Play family games. Watch comedies. Take time for play. It’s essential for wellbeing.

Nature. I took a socially distanced walk with a friend and we both remarked at the color of the sky. A bluer blue than we’ve seen in Los Angeles, ever. What’s beautiful about nature, when we take time to be in it, is that it’s so nourishing. It’s oxygen. It’s life’s continuing all around us. It’s birth and rebirth. It’s hope. 

So, those are some of the essentials for my wellbeing.

What do you find essential in your life? It’s a good question and now’s a good time to sit with the question and ponder the answers. Toss some in the comments if you feel like it. 

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Previous month:
June 2016

Next month:
August 2016

The morning was alive with questions. I took my coffee and morning reading to a favorite lookout point in Hollywood. It was clear and cloudless with a joy-inducing view of the Hollywood sign. I situated myself so as not to look at the concrete landscape of LA, but rather the mountains, the sign and the scattering of homes tucked into the hills. As a small-town-kid-at-heart, it’s easy sometimes to feel weighed down by the heaviness of the city. I often feel the pull of the land and sky. It brings me back to a sense of home. So, as I allowed my mind and body to still, as I relished my coffee, the veil over my eyes lifted and serenity peeked in. I was alone and it was heaven. In that moment, a lone bird with a huge wingspan soared across my view. It circled and found its landing spot…. Read more →

Negativity cannot reside in a state of Grace. Only love. Peace. Compassion. Forgiveness. Harmony. It’s what is needed, now more than ever. Grace is floating on the wings of the wind, And being in Grace is allowing the Breath of the divine to breeze through you, Levitating you to a place where you drift between dimensions. As a kid, the mention of Grace was usually saved for church, some far away notion that was meant for nuns and saints. Other dimensions? Come on, that was for re-runs of Star Trek or when my girlfriends and I held a séance at a slumber party. But, now? Now, I’ve felt it. I’ve asked for it. And, received it. Sometimes it just shows up. Grace is state of mind. Grace is a way of being. Grace is a divine connection to all that is. Grace is way of life, however I have fleeting… Read more →

By Cindy Yantis “I’ve finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road.” ~ Sir Elton John I think a lot about that road. In a “60 Minutes” interview with Lin-Manuel Miranda, Tony Award-winning creator of the musical HAMILTON, Lin-Manuel talked about attending a school for gifted children. He said he looked around and everyone was smarter than him, he was “surrounded by genius, genius kids.” Charlie Rose asked him, “So why do you think I’m sitting here talking to you and not one of your classmates?” He said, “I picked a lane and started running faster than anyone else.” “I picked a lane!” That lane led to the intense hard work and dedication that made him a true pioneer, recreating the modern Broadway musical. And, man is he ever in his purpose. One morning, on a recent trip to Costa Rica, I woke up at Rythmia Life Enhancement… Read more →

Up at 3 am. I couldn’t sleep. My heart was aching and I couldn’t stop thinking about the horrific week in America – 2 more black men senselessly killed by cops and more cops killed in hateful retaliation. It has to stop. We have to come together. I heard an NPR interview yesterday with Gwen Carr, the mother of Eric Garner, who was killed during a controversial arrest in NYC after police held down in a chokehold. She is a devout spokesperson against police violence. She said, “I was able to get up and turn my mourning into a movement and my sorrow into a strategy.” At 3 am I thought, what I can do? Then my next thought was, I have a blog called Thought Changer. It’s what I can do. It’s my voice and contribution. After all, the very motto of this tome is, “Provoking Change, one thought at a time.” Read more →

How often do we just kind of fudge the truth, or tell a little white lie to make someone feel better or to make things a little easier on ourselves? How about several times a day? Research by social psychologist Robert Feldman, who has studied lying for over a decade, showed 60% of people lie 2-3 times during a 10-minute conversation. He also found that most people lie to be more likable or appear more competent. According to behavioral scientist Dan Ariely – in the documentary “(Dis)Honesty: The Truth About Lies” – it’s all about rationalization. The “fudge factor” leads to people rationalizing that a little lying is okay. He also says that self-deception takes place everywhere. It’s the biggest lie of all. He said, “We convince ourselves the deception is actually truth.” Well, that piece about self-deception gave me the chills. It got me thinking about Truth, not only… Read more →

By Cindy Yantis There’s much that we take for granted, living where we live in these great and complicated United States. The freedom to do so certainly started with our forward-thinking founding fathers. They set forth a whole new way of being, and living, with independence. It got me thinking about the meaning of independence on a deeper, more personal level. What does it mean to be personally independent? A true feeling of independence starts with an energy, a force that fuels and permeates a sagacity of human spirit, a spirit that manifests as personal power, something that is at times forgotten or lost in the chaos of the daily grind. To my way of thinking, this personal sovereignty is a combination of both mindset and sense, a combo that reminds us of whom we are meant to be. Let us begin with some core senses or deeper places of… Read more →

I looked down at my hand which was draped palm-down on the book I was reading.

What I saw was crepe-like skin gathered at the base of my thumb and soft wrinkles pooling around my knuckles.

What I saw was my mother’s hand.

What I saw was the merging of my mother’s and father’s hand.

What I saw was my grandmother’s hand.  

My nose stung and my eyes watered. I blinked back a tear.

What I saw was, again, my own hand.

What are the tears? I asked.

Yeah, that surprised me too, I said.

Are you sad when look at your hand?

No.

Afraid?

No.

I looked again at my hand. My strong, long, lined, graceful, feminine, aging hand. I perused the corrugated map of lines on my palm and marveled at the deep life there.

The tears are acknowledgment, I said. Appreciation. Love.

All of that from looking at your hand?

So it would seem.

I recently had a milestone birthday, rolling into a new decade. I’ve been thinking a lot about it and what it all means. For the past several years, I’ve written a birthday post capturing what I’d gleaned from the previous year, lists of nuggets and gems, soundbites and quotables, how I’ve grown, what I’ve let go.

I didn’t do it this year. I couldn’t seem to find my entry point, the doorway to the story, so I let it lie.

Celebrating was, of course, different this year, and in some ways, deeper and richer, more meaningful, taking place in smaller celebrations that I was blessed with throughout the month.

And, simpler, which is also how this big birthday feels. Simple, like turning the page.

It got me thinking about this new page I’ve entered, as well as all of the previous pages beforehand. My first thought was to explore what I was leaving behind, releasing, and not taking with me going forward. Then, some wisdom bubbled up. Love it when that happens.

It was the simple knowledge that all of the previous pages were necessary and must be kept. They were not to be released. They’re all still in there. Whatever happened in the past – the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful – doesn’t need to be burned or trashed or forgotten. Or let go. They’re all a part of the story, this life story.

I recently heard someone say, “Don’t let your past be your prologue.” And, I get that. But, to my way of thinking, simply, is that it kind of is. The prologue. Our past is what is on the previous pages, they are the prologue to the current page in our life story. Right?

But, here’s the rest of that wisdom that bubbled up: Detach from the attachment to it. To all of it.

Stay with me.

In other words, the work is not to stay stuck in the prologue. The work is to not be attached to any part of our story. To my way of thinking, the work is to instead acknowledge the prologue and the previous pages and stories, give them the nod they’re due and then plant ourselves firmly into the present chapter, page, paragraph, sentence, word.

The gift of the detachment is that it doesn’t allow the previous pages or chapters to dictate the current one. Some may say detaching is the same as letting go. Okay, then it’s letting go of the attachment to the story, not letting go of the story. The idea of detachment clicked in for me a bit deeper somehow. Sometimes you just have to hear things in a different way in order for it to click in. 

Just turning the page. Simply. To here and now. I own my story; it doesn’t own me.

It turns out my own gloriously aging hand that holds all of that wisdom was the entry point that opened the door to this next page of my story.

So, what were the tears about? I ask.

I see now. The tears over my hand of time are about a pride of ownership, I say.

And, love for its owner.

Exactly.

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

Previous month:
September 2016

Next month:
November 2016

Utterances by their very nature are often said in passing, not meant to stick around, not meant to be given weight. An utterance is defined simply as “a smallest unit of speech.” And, stringing together a series of utterances constitutes a complete thought, whether it’s our side of a conversation or an improvised speech at a podium or simple off-the-cuff observations. We often don’t give much mind to our daily utterances. But, we should. A word. It’s such a small elemental thing. But, can have such a tremendous impact. It’s the impact that lingers, has weight and sticks around for as long as the impact has an effect on someone. Words matter. And, it’s not just in this day and age of the fast moving Internet, where words travel at the speed of a Tweet and Retweet. The truth is words secure history. They define things like character and reputation… Read more →

“Oh honey, life is about letting go.” This was the pearl of wisdom a good friend’s mother gave her many years ago after she’d had her first child, when every little thing seemed so weighted and overly important, so much so that she was in a constant state of angst. “Oh honey, life is about letting go,” her wise mother said. This friend and I were recently discussing the process of letting go and how challenging it is at times. We were each other’s sounding board for some front burner issues we were both trying to release. I’ve come to the conclusion that letting go is one of the hardest things to do in life, proven by the fact that there are literally thousands of books (328,000 in Amazon alone), articles, seminars and schools of thought on the subject of letting go, available to us hangers-on who at times find… Read more →